Odd So I woke up and I was spotting I wonder if it is a fluke or if my period is starting only 20 days after my last one. I guess it will misbehave for a while since i had stopped taking the pill.
Decided I am not loosing weight, but I am loosing time. I am not going to take my last month of the pill. My period just started and the counting and tracking begins.
Oh and to top it off the adults in our home invasion pleaded not guilty. One got bailed out by his mother. The one that was crawling through our window. The other one I was surprised because when I saw him I actually knew it was him and tears started rolling down my face. I got out of the court room when his was done. I tried to contain myself, but I started bawling. That guys mother stomped past us. We couldn't decide if she was pissed because her son is a shit bag or because the bail was like 100 thousand dollars. I just constantly wish I had killed him!
I was getting worried that my period wasn't going to start at all. Then finally I get some spotting. This pill isn't too bad. i haven't had any major freak outs. I did have a bout of depression, but I was also very sick so it went hand in hand. I am better now. I have started a new eating plan for me to loose weight. IT is very close to the slim fast plan, but with protien drinks instead. So I have 2 protien shakes and 2 whole fruits so that equals about 4 fruits, then a sensible 400-700 calorie dinner I really keep it to 600 calorie. So far not to bad. I am on Day 3. This is my last desperate attempt at weight loss before I give up and get surgery which will force me to behave. I think I will walk the dog today.
Tags:period Current Location:at work Current Mood: relieved
One of the girls at work who was very supportive and exceptionally happy when she found out I was pregnant before the MC came up to me today to see if I could scan her. She has gained 8 pounds in like 2 weeks and is swelling, boobies are sore and this only really happens when she gets pregnant. I have seen her eating more lately than ever before, but I thought she was trying to gain weight. I wonder if the weight gain could also be from her not having her gallbladder anymore? She is a tiny little lady who really is nearly incapable of weight gain with 2 beautiful girls. I told her I will need a full bladder and we will do it around lunch time. She isn't due for her period for a couple of weeks, so I probably won't see anything.
Tonight is going to be fun though. Me and two girls from the lab are going the the Dropkick Murphy's concert. YEAH! I packed my I'm fat Fuck off shirt. I haven't decided if that was what I was going to wear or not. It has become my concert shirt. LOL Jason is a bit jealous because I am going out with the girls. Not only tonight but Friday to celebrate a group of March birthdays and a going away party. We had to move mountains to get our schedules arranged for us all to get off together.
So today is the day I start the pill and if I am a good girl I will do as I am told. I just found out my cousin Sam is pregnant again which is good for her because she had fertility issues too, but it bums me out because I am not. Today is just emotional because the reality of my having to wait still makes me sad. I am having a hard time sticking to my diet. I have been working out more and essentially sticking to my diet, but it is definately harder than all the other times I have started. Ok so my work outs are taking the puppy for walks, but that counts. My clothes are starting to fit better, but the scale is erratic. I need to purchase a newer better scale for extra fat people sure I might have to shell out a few hundred dollars, but it will be worth it.
Period started again. The only thing is we are not to keep trying. My doctor talked me out of it until I loose weight. he told me all kinds of complications his patients my size are having. They were really really bad. i don't want to have to go through that if I can help it. I start the pill next week.
I know it sounds wierd to be happy about this, but my period started today. This means I am moving forward and can start on the baby making again soon. HAPPY DANCE! I swear Pele has doubled in size in 2 weeks. She follows me so loyally. It is so adorable. I got to get back to work but had to put this down.
So, Jason's mom was talking about giving us a puppy from one of their renters house because they didn't tell her ahead of time and the owner really didn't want it her ex gave it to her kids. Anyways. Probably won't work out. So, Jason and I were going to have Jason pick up a puppy we saw at the shelter, but another shelter was out on Sunday and had the cutest little puppies. So we got one. Jason picks her up today. We are naming her Pele (Beloved in Samoan). She is golden retriever Chow mix and already in love with Jason. We are only picking her up today because she had to get fixed and microchiped. YEAH! We get a baby puppy. She is cute and fuzzy. I will take a picture and put it up on myspace later. Oh, when Jason called his mom to tell her we are getting a puppy at first she freaked. Then Jason reminded her that she was going to give us one and we have a plan already in to works to buy the house from his folks. So, that chilled her out. So we have down stairs essentially baby proofed. upstairs is next, but she is too small to climb upstairs on her own. 2 months old. A Round Furball. So, now Jason's mom can't wait to see the puppy now. She will just melt altogether when she sees her. I will tell you more when I see here when I get home tonight.
Last night the shit hit the fan. My husband who has been kind enough to put up with my parents living with us for a long time finally flipped. He has been bottling up crap for like 9 years about my folks. The thing that cracked him was the food and I talked to him about not freaking out about them eating it. Well Jason saw that as now my wife turned against me. So all of Dads badgering and little sarcastic put downs for the last 9 years built up too. Jason in his rage knew he wouldn't hit me or my folks because he loves us too much punched the solid wood dresser and fractured his hand. He still packed a bag and was getting his guns together. While I am bawling my eyes out. I was screaming about him leaving me. He finally said its me or them. He offered for me to go with him. He just could not stay with my parents anymore. He started talking and then calming down. I offered the family meeting immediately and called my parents downstairs to the kitchen table. We hashed things out a little calmer, but with tears. Jason said the most adorable thing ever. He said it hurts so much because I love you guys so much. Refering to my parents. We all confronted Dad on his put downs which he didn't realise he does. And his smoking. I reminded him that with his family history he is signing a death warrant. Made sure mom knows how much we appreciate what she has been doing. Dad also said this is your house what ever rules you set down we will follow. He also appreciates us letting them stay there.They are all worried about me working my ass off for them. That made me feel a little better. In the end there were hugs of love. I mentioned counseling for Jason for his history of being abused as a child. I will hopefully one day get him to go. But I had to take Jason to the ER for his hand. Jason didn't want to admit he lost his temper and hit something and broke his hand . So he said he missed a step on the landing and fell into the wall. Unfortunately his fracture is the kind you see when you punch something. The Doctor was like I don't think I want to know what upset you so much to hit something so hard since you seem like a big tall teddybear now. Jason stuck to his story. The DR said But that's your story and your sticking too it. Jason said yes. You could tell the doctor didn't believe him, but accepted it. LOL They had given him a butt load of moriphine. And Jason was really high. They splinted him. Jason will not be working for a while, but that is ok my call check will make up for it. My family has spilled the beans and made up. I think this has cleared the way. At least for a little while.
Do to all of this I didn't get to bed until almost 1 am. I work today and I have call. But lucky for me the student called in sick again today so I will probably sit on my ass and not do much until call starts this evening.
So, after posting last night I had a little time to stop at the house especially since I needed my change of clothes for the next day. Jason and Dad were eating Taco Bell and had a couple of burritos for mom. I asked them how mom was. Ends up she is having a lot of spinal back and neck pain. She is maxing out her meds right now. That must have been the major trigger. Pain. When you hurt all the time and it gets to a point you can't stand it anymore and gets worse you snap. So once the pain mellows out I think she will be a little better.
Call kept me up and out all night. I got back to the call apartment at 6 15 am. I have had about 2.75 hours of sleep. I went in a bit late. There was a dumbass that thought he could grab my arm because he hurt and the doctor didn't give him as much moriphine as he thought he should get. I said very firmly "DO NOT TOUCH ME" He let go and got defensive. Why are you nurses and doctors so touchy about being touched have you been hurt by patients before. I said no I just don't like to be touched. I mean especially by white gangster wannabes who can't see they look like casper. (I wish I had said that last part). I was on guard because he was beligerent and they had the big security gaurd on stand by out side the door if anything happened with this guy and one of the girls said "oh, your doing him. Just let us know if he gives you trouble." My response, "If he does I will just press harder." I should have. I only pressed as hard as I needed to do the study. He mellowed out towards the end when he realised I wasn't out to get him. Still I would have loved to punch his hip with all the "equipment in it" That is how he put it. "You wouldn't press so hard if you knew how much equipment I have in my hip." Yes oh yes I would as much as I need to do the exam appropriately. I straight out told him this is what I need to do my exam and if you don't want me to I could go. Well considering he came specifically to rule out a blood clot he stepped down. I still wish I had done something extra to torture him like tell him 80 year olds with hip fractures can handle this you pussy. LOL
I did a lady who ended up being very nice, but what got me was that she just had a baby at 37 and didn't know she was pregnant until 7.5 months in and she was taking a lot of street drugs till that point. She quit once she found out, but she is huge like me and then on drugs, but still gets her baby. I figure the baby was given to her to clean up and save her life. So if I look at it that way I can't be to made at an unwed drug addict getting her baby, but it still hurts. I did very well in the situation. Better than I thought I would considering I miscarried a little over 2 weeks ago. I hope she stays clean for her baby. Who by the way was totally adorable.
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